Oh Happy Day: 12/01/2006

Kevin Proctor, a dear friend of mine, passed away unexpectedly on Fri, Dec 15th. In one moment I lost a close friend, and my close friend, Desiree, lost her husband. I caught the first plane to Spokane, and spent the week living with Des, being her brain, grieving with her and finding ways to help.

So many people thanked me for coming so quickly and staying with her. Truthfully, it was a blessing to be there, in the middle of a devastated life and a family, and to know how to really help. Leaving Des on Saturday was so hard. I hated leaving her alone, and I had to begin my own grieving process.

My hope comes from this...I had the honor and calling to share Christ with Kevin over the last 6 years at Telect. I watched his life change...from being complete disinterested in spiritual things, to processing a genuine belief in God and prayer, putting his family first, and seeking to encourage my faith. How does one know that another has genuine, saving, Christian faith? The best answer I have, in the absence of being able to see a heart, is to witness a changed life...one with actions that demonstrate faith. In that case, I have hope that Kevin is now standing before the throne of God in heaven, finally free from his wheelchair, experiencing the true joy of God's presence.

Kevin's memorial service was a beautiful tribute and had over 300 people in attendence. Here's a copy of what I shared that day:

Hi. I’m Lindsay Standish and I’ve had the pleasure of working with both Kevin and Des at Telect, and more importantly, sharing a close friendship with both of them.

Kevin Proctor is the most inspiring person I’ve had the honor of knowing.

He’s always been such a positive person with an amazing outlook on life. No matter the situation, Kevin always sought to find the good. If you ever got to hear him personally tell the story of his accident, you were absolutely amazed and in awe that he survived. He could have allowed his wheelchair to be confining, both physically and emotionally, and allow life to pass him by, but that was not the Kevin I knew.

Kevin was certainly not bound by his chair. He loved to travel…constantly talking about his favorite beach on Maui, trips to the Oregon coast or Seattle, and anticipating his yearly trip to Leavenworth with Des. What an active lifestyle too! He was so excited to buy a bicycle so that he could join Des in one of her favorite sports, and go for family bike rides. I hear he was quite the water-skier years ago, too, and was even learning the skill again this past summer on their new boat. He coached CJ’s soccer team, and even taught Lexi to ride her bike in a school parking lot after hours. Amazed? Try to keep up with him! He was fast! Just think of the impact he’s had on all of us, and especially on the boy’s he’s coached for 3 years or friends of the kids. Those kids will never look at a handicapped person the same again. In that respect, their lives are changed forever, as are ours. What an amazing gift! No, Kevin was not confined to his wheelchair. In fact, I often forgot about the chair all together.

Kevin truly sought to live life to the fullest…and with quite a sense of humor too. He often bragged about how tall he was; over 6 ft. He scolded the production crew he supervised at Telect for thinking they could hide items on shelves that were over his head. He was amazing to watch as he navigated his way down the halls at Telect with his cup of hot black coffee in one hand, bouncing off the walls as he went. He rarely let me carry that cup for him…of course, when he’s carrying a laptop in his lap, it’s easier to convince him. Oh how he grinned as I teased him the day I found his jeans stained with coffee…he had spilled the cup in his lap and I caught him! And who says Kevin can’t take the escalator at the mall? Quite a sight! What a work ethic too…one of his favorite expressions…and trust me, I heard it almost daily… “got here at 11, leaving at 1, with a two hour lunch break…work’n hard!” And did any of you hear him talk about going home to watch the Sound of Music? He wasn’t kidding…turns out he really did watch it regularly.

Kevin loved Des more than anything. I remember the twinkle in his eye when he sought me out to share that he had proposed to Desiree on High Drive, and his beaming face after they had gotten married in Leavenworth. He thought she was the most beautiful and amazing woman in the world and often said so. He adored Colby, Lexi and CJ. He loved trips to Dairy Queen, or soccer games, and always came to work with new stories. His proudest moments were when those kids called him ‘Dad’. His life revolved around that family, his 3 girls and his little man. He loved them dearly, and spoke of them often.

I believe I had the honor to know Kevin fairly well, but above everything else, I had the privilege to see God change Kevin’s life. You see, everything I’ve already mentioned about Kevin is amazing, but to witness a life influenced by God; that is awe inspiring. When I first really got to know Kevin 5-6 years ago, he had no interest in God or religion or spiritual things. In fact I can remember sitting at his desk or in the atrium at Telect sharing lunch, and if I would bring up topics of faith, he would shut me down or change the subject. He made it clear that he was not interested.

I cannot say exactly when the change occurred, but at some point Kevin began to listen to me when I would talk about what I saw God doing in my life or in the ministries I was involved in. He asked me questions about my convictions and was genuinely curious about my personal standards for holiness or purity. Eventually he started attending church, and encouraged his family to go. I recall one of the times he recounted his accident, the amazing circumstances that allowed him to live, the months of recovery afterwards, and a few individuals that truly impacted his life during that time. The story was so moving, we both ended up in tears. I told him, “it is so clear that God wanted you to live and has a plan for your life. What an amazing story you have to tell.” Thru tears he looked at me and agreed, “Yes, God wanted me to live.”

In the last year, when I was worried about something, he often exhorted me to trust God. “Linds, God’s got a plan, right? You gotta trust Him.” I find the most hope in his own stories. In the last 6 months or so, he confided multiple times with amazement how much he had seen his own life change in the last few years. He still cared deeply for his friends, but he no longer desired to go out drinking or stay out late. He wanted to spend time with his family more than anything. He once expressed to me that his life was 180 degrees different than just a few years ago. “I’m a better man, and I thank God for it.” He asked me to pray for him, and offered to pray for me. Wow, what a change! From shutting down spiritual topics, to encouraging my faith. This was truly a life impacted by God.

As Kevin faced his surgery in March, he and Des asked Walt, Pam and I to pray for them and to help them through it. Kevin was really nervous, but I remember him specifically saying, “I believe that no matter what happens, no matter what, God has a plan in this.” We’re all stunned at his sudden death, and certainly we don’t understand it, but as Kevin said himself, “God has a plan in this…You gotta trust Him.”

I left Spokane on Oct 1st and didn't start my job in Billings until Nov 1st. So I had an entire month to play.

On my first post I bragged about getting to visit Joe & Katie in Rapid City, but I also had some other fun adventures to post...better late than never, right?

Michigan

I visited Todd and Julie Dykstra and their beautiful kiddos (John, Andrew, & Anna) for almost a week.

Highlights

smiles from a 3 month old baby girl
hearing Todd preach again
walking thru the amazing church property and enjoying the fall color
spawning salmon in the little church stream - they're huge!!!
Julie's always welcoming family
carving pumpkins
fresh apple cider
new curtains for their front door
panera bread and shoe shopping - a tradition on every visit
favorite new coat, for a bargain no less
fellowship
chai tea lattes

Andrew taking care of his lil sis, and enjoying an apple

John and Andrew jumping into the hay

the Dykstra boys at the church property & jack-o-lanterns

Bible Time

Los Angeles

Next I left the comfort of small town Montana to visit friends in L.A. Boy, they must be important to me! Juli and Justin McKitterick are some of my favorite people. I've promised to visit them ever since they left for seminary. What a joy to see them!

Highlights

seeing the UCLA campus
listening to Justin preach at Grace on Campus at UCLA
first time at Disneyland!!!
finally attending Grace Community Church and Crossroads College Ministry
traffic, traffic and more traffic
sunning on beach in late October
shared car sickness
boba!!!
fellowship with one of my best friends
finding the Hollywood sign
we broke Splash Mountain at Disneyland! as a result - we saw the secret behind scenes of Disneyland - awesome!
Anne of Green Gables and popcorn
laughing over spilled juice - again